Ever have one of those days when you had plans, and someone else demanded something from you, without regard to those plans? If you're a parent or an employee, or a freelancer, it's probably happened to you.
It's a small thing. But because I try to respect other people's time, it's challenging for me when I have to enforce these kinds of boundaries. I want to help people. I also have a life and there are times when I have to firmly, with love, tell people no.
The biggest challenge I have is the knee-jerk, "Hell no, what are you thinking, asking me to do this?" three-year-old-who-doesn't want-to-leave-the-zoo reaction. My next reaction is often to find some passively-aggressive way to deal with it.
"I just won't answer the phone when he calls," I think.
or
"I won't do it until tomorrow, because I can't let him jerk me around like that--even if I can find the time today. That will teach him a lesson!"
The truth is, I can find a balanced way to deal with it--one where I won't feel taken advantage of, and one where once again, I will enforce a boundary with someone who is not good about respecting those. We'll both probably get what we need, and move on from there. Compromise.
But that knee-jerk reaction is hard to overcome.
And it rarely serves me well. A lot of people post things on FB, and speak to one another from that KJ place--the first offended reaction, instead of the more measured, considered one.
It's how small misunderstandings become huge fires. It is impossible for me (at least currently) to not have the KJ reactions--but I can choose to not let them drive my actions. Working on that one.
What's the smallest thing you will do today to act from a thinking place instead of a reacting one?
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